Make Ugly Faces at Dogs, Go Straight to Jail!

They say ignorance of the law is no defence and as a person who prides himself as a good, law-abiding citizen and responsible dog owner I felt it necessary to arm myself with as many legal facts relating dogs as I could. Lucky I did. Would you believe how close I came to making funny faces at a dog the last time I visited Oklahoma? This is, of course, against the law as I’m sure you already knew.

Dog Laws

Fortunately for you lucky readers, thanks to my legal delving you too are now free to travel the world safe in the knowledge that you absolutely must not, under any circumstances and no matter how tempting, allow your dog to smoke a cigar in Zion, Illinois or you surely will find yourself in serious hot water. Phew! I’m sure you’ll agree, this article is an obvious candidate to be cut out and kept safe. You never know when you might need to refer to it in the future.….

California
In some areas of California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Ventura Country, California

Cats and dogs are not allowed to mate without a permit.

Hartford, Connecticut
It is illegal to educate dogs.

Northbrook, Illinois
It is illegal for dogs to bark for more than fifteen minutes.

Zion, Illinois
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. (Cigarettes are perfectly ok we must presume?)

Palding, Ohio
A police officer may bite a dog to quiet him.

Oklahoma
In some areas of Oklahoma: People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Oklahoma
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property. (Quite right too. Why can’t our Government act tough to combat the problem of canine hoody gangs congregating outside my local supermarket? Excellent forward thinking legislation.)

North Carolina
Laws applying to some areas of North Carolina prohibit fights between cats and dogs.

Michigan
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.

Fort Thomas, Kentucky
Dogs may not molest cars. (Why can’t every country bring this law in? It seems I can’t drive anywhere these days without some Labrador lothario or macho Manchester Terrier trying to get intimate with the back end of my Lexus.)

Anchorage, Alaska, United States
No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. (What, not even if they’re trying to molest it?)

Belvedere, California, United States
“No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Think about it.)

Denver
The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. (Now that’s a law that makes total sense. At least if the dogs can read about their likely impounding three days ahead, they can seek alternative accommodation before the worst comes to the worst.)

Illinois
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey (Presumably a Vodka chaser is acceptable though? We don’t want to be accused of cruelty here.)

Chicago
It is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera. (Well that’s obvious. I thought this was all about crazy dog laws so how did this one creep in?)

Have you heard of any dog laws crazier than this (well, apart from breed specific legislation of course)?

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