Comments on: Ban The Sofa! http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/ the lifestyle magazine for dog lovers Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:23:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Sharon http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-216 Sharon Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:59:37 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-216 Well done Nick......well done! Well done Nick……well done!

]]> By: Joy Ward http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-215 Joy Ward Tue, 23 Jan 2007 00:56:51 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-215 Tail wags all around! If it wasn't so true it would be even funnier! Tail wags all around! If it wasn’t so true it would be even funnier!

]]> By: Marjorie http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-214 Marjorie Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:39:06 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-214 This article reminds me of an old spoof I read (and stowed away a copy). As the author is unknown, I can't credit him or her. But someone, somewhere, who's obviously much more humourous than I will probably ever be, put together a satire hinting at the absurdity of breed-specific legislation, along with the common misspelling of the word "breed". He or she came up with the very funny article: "FORGET ABOUT BREED BANS! WE MUST BAN BREAD!!" • More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. • Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. • In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases, such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza, ravaged whole nations. • More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. • Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month! • Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis. • Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after as little as two days. • Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. • Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it is worried that eating bread could lead to dehydration of vital tissues. • Newborn babies can choke on bread. • Bread can withstand temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. • Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions: - No sale of bread to minors. - A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. - A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills associated with bread. - No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. - The establishment of "bread-free" zones around schools. Author Unknown This article reminds me of an old spoof I read (and stowed away a copy). As the author is unknown, I can’t credit him or her. But someone, somewhere, who’s obviously much more humourous than I will probably ever be, put together a satire hinting at the absurdity of breed-specific legislation, along with the common misspelling of the word “breed”. He or she came up with the very funny article:

“FORGET ABOUT BREED BANS! WE MUST BAN BREAD!!”

• More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

• Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

• In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases, such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza, ravaged whole nations.

• More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

• Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

• Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.

• Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after as little as two days.

• Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

• Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it is worried that eating bread could lead to dehydration of vital tissues.

• Newborn babies can choke on bread.

• Bread can withstand temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

• Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

- No sale of bread to minors.
- A nationwide “Just Say No To Toast” campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
- A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills associated with bread.
- No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
- The establishment of “bread-free” zones around schools.

Author Unknown

]]> By: Alison green http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-213 Alison green Sun, 14 Jan 2007 00:10:57 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-213 I have a leather sofa...as it is not a "fabric" as such would it be exempt from such a law or should I give myself up now??!! If it wasnt so serious it would be laughable. I have a leather sofa…as it is not a “fabric” as such would it be exempt from such a law or should I give myself up now??!!

If it wasnt so serious it would be laughable.

]]> By: melanie page http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-212 melanie page Sat, 13 Jan 2007 23:07:08 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-212 Superb! Luckily for me I don't own a sofa, unluckily I do own a dog classed as "type". Well done Nick, let's hope people take the time to find out more about BSL and the ridiculousness of it. Superb! Luckily for me I don’t own a sofa, unluckily I do own a dog classed as “type”.
Well done Nick, let’s hope people take the time to find out more about BSL and the ridiculousness of it.

]]> By: Cindy http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-211 Cindy Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:00:32 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-211 SNAP! Got it in one...mind you, I only have antique sofa's but they too may be in peril if IKEA chooses to bring out an antique type range! Well written and shows the general idiocy of all forms of BSL. SNAP! Got it in one…mind you, I only have antique sofa’s but they too may be in peril if IKEA chooses to bring out an antique type range!

Well written and shows the general idiocy of all forms of BSL.

]]> By: Beccie http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-210 Beccie Wed, 10 Jan 2007 10:57:57 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-210 Brilliant piece of writing Nick, spot on! We are glad you are in our corner :o) Brilliant piece of writing Nick, spot on! We are glad you are in our corner :o )

]]> By: Caveat http://www.dogmagazine.net/archives/80/ban-the-sofa/#comment-209 Caveat Tue, 09 Jan 2007 17:30:09 +0000 http://www.dogmagazine.net/ban-the-sofa/#comment-209 Right on the money, Nick! I guess when they did up the standards they had to include futons, loveseats and full-sized sectionals just to cover the field. Kind of like in Ontario, where a Staffordshire Bull, an American Staffordshire and an American Pit Bull terrier or any dog that resembles it is a sofa - er, I mean 'pit bull'. Got any Valium to spare? Right on the money, Nick!

I guess when they did up the standards they had to include futons, loveseats and full-sized sectionals just to cover the field.

Kind of like in Ontario, where a Staffordshire Bull, an American Staffordshire and an American Pit Bull terrier or any dog that resembles it is a sofa – er, I mean ‘pit bull’.

Got any Valium to spare?

]]>