Official! The Montauk Monster is NOT a Pit Bull
Finally, it’s been confirmed. The animal that washed up on a New York beach is NOT, as was speculated, a Pit Bull dog.
Speaking to one of the UK’s most prominent breed ID experts – who completed a four hour course to achieve this status – they confirmed to us that the animal dubbed ‘The Montauk Monster’ was “no way a Pit Bull”.
The breed ID expert, who wished to remain nameless for fear of being stalked by the vengeful ghosts of Pit Bulls put to death under the UK’s Dangerous Dogs Act, told us:
“I’m an expert in this field. I’ve identified a lot of Pit Bulls, mainly from seeing pictures of them and reading about them in the newspaper and stuff. I saw a film with a Pit Bull in it too. I am a fully qualified Pit Bull spotter, I did a course and I sat through the whole four hours of it So I know what I’m talking about, yeah.”
The expert went onto explain:
“I know Pit Bulls and this is no Pit Bull. A few clues that some of these web speculators have missed. For one, it’s not really got any fur on it. Pit Bulls have a special fur that can’t be torn off, it was bred into them. You know, because they fight and stuff. Secondly, its mouth is agape. No Pit Bull would have an open mouth, they have locking jaws which mean they clamp down and can’t be prized open by humans. Most importantly, it’s just like, lying there. All placid and stuff. No way is that a Pit. All the (pictures) of Pit Bulls that I’ve seen tend to suggest that Pit Bulls don’t just lie down to have their picture taken like this. No way. They are fearsome animals and legend has it, they can even kill children who they haven’t even met yet just by thinking about them and clicking their back legs together. This is no Pit Bull, no way. If you want my expert opinion, it’s pretty obvious what this is. It’s a Turtle. One of those teenage mutant ninja ones. It’s not a Pit. No way. I know what I’m talking about.”
So there you have it. The Montauk Monster is “No way” a Pit Bull.
Thanks to the UK’s leading breed ID experts for clearing up the confusion for us. Much appreciated.
Apropos of nothing in particular…….
(END BSL)
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It’s not a dog.
There is an interesting explanation floating around that ties the creature to the US Government dabbling in things they shouldn’t be messing with.
http://www.astrovera.com/science/time-travel/35-time-travel/51-montauk-monster.html
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This is a very unitelligent article. First of all, learn to speak English properly. And second of all, the animal is dead. You state “Most importantly, it’s just like, lying there. All placid and stuff. No way is that a Pit. All the (pictures) of Pit Bulls that I’ve seen tend to suggest that Pit Bulls don’t just lie down to have their picture taken like this. No way.” It’s dead! I’m pretty sure that if it was a pitbull it would be lying down the same way because it’s dead. I agree that it is not a pitbull and most likely a turtle of some sort but this article was horrible and very uninformative.
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Joe B, you’re right. The level of intelligence is just redicularse. You’ve pointed out some very scientific things that the breed ID expert clearly missed. I mean, how could he / she not realise the animal was dead? Incredibly unitelligant. Probably a turtle, yes.
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I think the articles level of intelligence mmimics the Acts level of intelligence perfectly. Im just a mere mortal tho so what would I know?
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Joe and Santopia. You speak TRUTH. I made the mistake of laughing my way through this hilarious piece until . . . I read the comments from you two! And, just as you suggested, unintelligent IMMEDIATELY sprang to mind.
Some kind of turtle. Yeah. The kind that god never made, the kind with teeth! Gotta be the government messing with Turtles and planting teeth on them.
Pure evil!
But THIS part is true, of course “they can even kill children who they haven’t even met yet just by thinking about them and clicking their back legs together. ”
That’s why you should always stop a Pit Bull from clicking it’s back legs together.
You don’t need to be no expert to know THAT!
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I still say Joe B is bang on the money. This was a bridge of unintelligence too far. What are these UK dog breed ID experts doing on those four hour courses? It’s obvious to anyone looking that the lock jaw would only kick in when the dog was in attack mode. I hear the eyes glow red as a further sign of devildogitis.
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Actually, I’ve seen dogs at the dog park so I know what I am talking about when I say this IS a pit bull.
Proof? This little known fact that pit bulls have lonely hearts “Pit bulls are famous, in circles of knowledgeable dog people, for the love and loyalty they bestow on anyone who shows them a smidgen of kindness.”
Some tourist probably tossed it a bone then calously went back to New Jersey leaving the poor dog to sit lovingly and faithfully for their return until it loyally expired in the sand.
But only “knowledgeable” dog people know that, so it’s probably not taught in the UK. Even in the advanced 6 hour course.
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ok. yur all stupid… first of all. its not a pitbull or a turtle,
b/c turtle’s shells are part of their ribs. therefore cant just be torn off.
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It’s a pit bull with the front part of the snout and the flesh of the lower jaw either removed or rotted off. What looks like a “beak” is the front part of the upper jawbone.
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someones been watching the wizard of oz too long
and this fur think is new
and as for the impossible to open jaw how did they break up fights.
as for seing them in the newspaper lol
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U [Plural] Don’t Know *hit…Becasue You ‘R’ All Americans. Stop The Ingorant Speculation And Try To Read Some Information Before You All Open Your Mouth. What ‘R’ In Kindergarden…? It’s A Pitbull Not It’s A Turtle…STHU Please.
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Keep it going children, it breaks the monotony! ;o)
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It is not a Pit Bull! Pit Bull’s have 4 large canines and the tiniest little front teeth. Such a small one, those small front teeth would have been like white bumps. This is one of the reasons they are so popular for fighting. Teeth like that can do massive damage, allowing the canines maximum penetration. Also a Pit’s head has inches of muscle
tissue, making their heads seem giant. It would hanging off
or bloated like basketball during decomp. I don’t believe the second photo is the same carcass, anyways.
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You my friend are an idiot lol.. lock jaw.. looks like you’ve joined the rest of the idiots in the world who believe everything they hear. their jaws are the same as any other dog.. they just have more deternination in their instincts, causing them to never back down. and.. kill small children… lol. wtf. And dog out there will attack if they are trained to, or treated bad. my pit has never bit anyone, not even nipped. and ive had her for 7 years. plz dont Lecture about stuff you dont even know about… Mr. Fully Qualified Pitt Bull Spotter.. lol wtf is that?
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